One Last Smile

Every male has a dream girl in his mind. For some people this girl is really hot, with a perfect body and shit like that. For me on the other hand...Its something else...Something simple. They say that the perfect human does not exist. They are wrong.. A special somebody can be perfect from your point of view.  Sometimes this perfect somebody might be broken/ fucked up/scarred for ever. She might have anxiety problems and sometimes can be really childish but how cute is that, right?

I think you get the point.. The thing is that dreams, usually don't come true, 99% sure about this.  Dreams can be scary. Dreams can be turned into nightmares. Sometimes you wont chase that dream becauze you are scared. I was scared too. That didn't go too good.My dream turned into a fucking nightmare and then into a big freaking joke, mocking and laughing at me. All these because I was too afraid to go and say 3 simple words: I – Like-You.  Sometimes i hate myself for being so pessimistic, even though i never actually admitted that.I like to consider myself an optimist but that’s just a big big lie. Dreams can’t be chased. Dreams will always be dreams. Coming to your sleep every single night, showing you the day that time stopped. Showing you her eyes in fucking slow-mo and then boom, a third person shot of you trying to say something.. You know nothing is going to change but you cant help yourself. You need to think about her, even though she doesn’t give a single fuck. Even though you are not that importan to her. Every single night wondering... What if? What if I was strong enough to kiss her without a warning. What if.... This question haunting the back of your mind, leaving you with no sleep.

All of these negative feelings can be erased if you see her. One more time. Just a fade smile. That’s all you need. Not gonna get it though and you fucking know it. Hoping for a miracle wont work too...Especially if you don't believe in god. More questions showing up every night...What have i done wrong. Don't I deserve a good and kind-hearted person like her? Am I a bad person? Do i really deserve someone in my life? Questions that make you cold and empty inside...Day by day..Night by night...Mixed feelings for everything. Sadness and happiness at the same time, driving you crazy as hell. However you are addicted to it. Addicted to her, her smile, her every move. In the end everything is going to get better. After all we are humans... We kill feelings, we recycle old ones, we feel empty and then full and that’s the true point of all these. Everything is going to be alright in the end, maybe.....

Love can sometimes be magic but magic can sometimes be an illusion