Friday, 22 September 2017

When I met you again

She looked from her window mesmerized from the majestic view. Everything looked so unfamiliar and strange even though she looked from the same position everyday for about four years. Recalling a most dark memory from a most unfriendly corner of her mind was enough to tear her up momends later. She could resist but she chose to give her last part of her soul to his touch. She couldn’t resist to the memories any more, she let herself free and she sank to her sorrow. Everything changed throughout the last year, everything still changes but she can’t accept it… She clenched her fist and continued her thoughts, her eyes were red from her sorrow and the tears were like the rivers, unstoppable…

She gave 6 years to someone that she chose to leave behind because she was too scared to get through the pain that he gave to her, too fragile for his unstable hands though too right for him. She could read him like an open book and he could calm her down with a single loving and caring look. But she left him anyway, she run away from her feelings; it was what she knew to do best. She convinced herself that she got over him and continued her life making new relationships and scattered her into cheap feelings with cheap persons whose names even were not worthy for her to remember.

A year later, when she came back to her home town she decided to meet him up with the illusion that she wouldn’t mind it at all. Oh dear Lord; little did she know at how wrong she was.. He was there staring of her thinking how beautiful she was. He was crying and she wanted to take him into her arms, she wanted to take his pain and make him hers. But she couldn’t. She decided to play a role but as always, the joke was on her. He wanted to meet her again and she accepted because it was something that she also wanted. They went at a bay and sat down somewhere that it doesn’t matter. He had her into his arms and she felt that she was at home. What a peculiar creatures we are, only when we lose someone we understand their true impact on our lives.The background was full of music, she was staring him in the eyes while a certain song made the moment special. It was the ‘’Mind if I stay’’ of Kadebostany. She had him in her arms, her heart was beating eagerly. She wanted so much to kiss him and be one with him and her wish came true after a while. As he was looking at her beautiful blue eyes she told her that he wanted to kiss her. So she grabs the moment and kissed him. And then they were one, he made love to her...  but he didn’t want anymore to have her in his life. You see, soon enough he was about to begin his new life in Athens and she was something like a burden because he wanted to move on, live his magnificent life away from here. Having sex with differed women; be with differed women and having her into his way he couldn’t do these kind of things.

It was such a difficult situation for a fragile human being like her, she was pouring her heart out to him and he was returning the flavor with bland and meaningless words. She looked again out. For a moment, for this particular and single moment she thought to jump from her balcony and give an end to everything that she was living. She was mow certain that he won't come back,despite her needing him so much in her life. He told her that for him she weren’t his little girl anymore, that special and pure little girl and that he won’t come back for her, not any more. She was heartbroken, she felt completely alone. As she was sitting near the window she was reading again and again his texts. She wanted to go visit him in Athens for one more last time.For one last time, she wanted these last few moments with him so badly. He promised this last hug, this last kiss, these last 5 days with him. But his promises were nothing more than a beautiful lie. He wanted to go away and she were heartbroken. She left him because she felt unwanted then, he left her now because he wanted to live this great bachelor life that he were leaving for at least one year; spending no more than a week with women that were too easy for him… She looked for one more time through the window, it was now dark outside. She touched her chest feeling the emptiness of her existence and then she decided to follow this darkness as it was the only relief from her pain.