Friday 8 January 2016

Dust to Dust Part I

The only thing that speaks the truth is actions. Not words, not anything else..just actions. Actions you can actually see but deny to realize them. No you can't see the whole world in her/his eyes or these eyes everywhere in the world. Illusions and sugar coated words are easy to believe. Time wont heal you. The only one that can help you is.. YOU. You don't even know how strong you are until you have no choice. You have no idea what you are capable of until someone corners you and if that someone is your freaking special someone... EVEN BETTER. Everyone is afraid to show their wounds but not you. You are strong enough to let your wounds open. You are strong enough to let everyone know you survived worse and let them knife the fuck out of you without even flinching. There was someone who hurt you at some point of your life but not anymore. You are fucking powerful as you lack emotions. Your pain tolerance is so high its almost inhuman but that's the good stuff right? That high that gets to you when the knife digs deep. The adrenaline rush you feel when everything turns red. No regrets, no pain, just a big void inside your big eyes. After some time the void disappears and there is nothing left but a monster. A monster that can negate any feeling, a monster that can tear apart anyone who gets in its way and that's DAMN FINE. Vengeance is here. Revenge is near for every fucking person who actually plunged a knife in your heart which is no longer there. The melody is over, the piano stopped playing and dead silence is the only thing left along with the darkness oozing through you. A bloodlust that cannot be sated. A power above every power. Something sinister that cannot be stopped. You cried, you screamed but right now this dead silence is your best friend. The first and last thing they will hear. Silence sometimes is more powerful than words and you are sick of them. Silence can make the loudest BANG ever heard. Love faded away,  'The only one i wanted was you' and shit like that don't even touch you anymore. I would say that you are lost inside a dark abyss however you are not lost. You are an abyss walker. The chosen one who can kill every living thing. Death and decay behind every single step, your story is not a happy one. Your story is more like Abel and Cain. Apocalypse and sins. Lust and killing spree. A soulless monster with no remorse. Searching and destroying without regrets. The only thing remotely close to the humanity you once had is a sick and twisted smile wrapped on your face.

It has been forever since I saw the only one who could even reach inside me and stop me. I can't remember the voice or the face of that person. My big, bad monster took care of that for me.

The monster took care of everyone, everyone except me. I want to die so badly, get rid of that curse but where is the fun in that huh? You cannot spell fun without a  huge dose of chaos and blood.
My eyes are changing a little bit day by day. They become darker, black,more hollow than ever. I am  starting to losing the only thing that was making me human, the only chance I got to get rid of the monster. After all these, I got rid of your humanity instead of the monster inside me. Reality is getting distorted, hell is getting closer at every step, my wrongs are dancing with my rights and I am not even terrified. Every second that passes brings you closer to my throne, one step closer to become the fucking King of Hell. Who could be better than you anyway? Who could replace the great torturer of souls. The masochism of your life. Torturing souls and getting tortured by torturing them. Oh, such art. Oh, my love where art thou? I guess my demon killed you too...
Yet, loneliness is another feeling you negated. Nothing can take your pain away. There is no retribution or hope left for you so you will keep doing the only thing you do just great, torture. It doesn't matter if its yourself or other people, that's the only thing left in you. Words were left unspoken and now you are choking by these words. Getting madder and madder without no one to stop you. There is a speck inside your head. Neon lights guiding you back to the state of equillibrium. Long before things turn red, before the pain and the tears, before that demon of yours take over your soulless body. What are these lights, u wonder. Is it her? Is she here for me? How can I go back though? All our bridges are burned, I lit this dirty road I walk for so long with the help of these burning bridges. Maybe it's all just a dream. A nightmare so realistic that you can feel every single thing. All it's needed is to wake up, or is it? Naaaah, I'm just kidding. It's not a nightmare, you wish it was but it's not. It's all real so.. I wouldn't hold my breath if I was you. I would keep on walking, keep on slaying every living thing in my way. Destroying souls, torturing bodies. Why you ask? Why not? Life is pointless anyway. Relationships and feelings fade away. Yes of course, love hurts but do you know what hurts worse? Being alive and dead at the same time because of these feelings. Why bother loving when you can destroy. Why bother loving when you can hate? Why bother loving at all? These questions are as pointless as loving though as you cant feel anything anymore. Don't you ever forget that. Hold this fucking thought in your hands and never let go. Sing along the damned and gaze in the abyss. Your existence is nothing but a crack of darkness between an eternity of light. So sing along a little louder. Hold that wretched smile you have and show it to the world. Let them know that the Queen is dead, long live the fucking King. Everyone's have something to pay and you are here to claim their pitiful, pathetic souls. Rip them apart, tear them in piece and then throw them in the deepest pit of our kingdom. I will make them understand that their God is dead. There is no salvation for the betrayers, no hope for the fakes and of course, no rest for the wicked. Your throne was built from the scars they gave you and now it's payback time. I am going to further decorate that throne with their own hearts. They threw me to the wolves without second thought but little they knew. I came back, leader of the pack. I came back changed, different,  The big void which existed inside you opened up. I came back possessed, possessed by power and blood. My faith is gone, my patience exhausted. As I said, apocalypse is coming and I am War, I am Death, I am the one who will conquer everything.  This void became my best friend, this demon inside me became my ultimate power and I am not willing to give them up. I don't want to be cured, I don't want to be saved. The other me is long gone. He died that day. The day they threw me in the wolves and watched me getting eaten alive. They thought I died and they were almost right. Nobody expected something dark was about to crawl out of me.  The mirrors are starting to whisper as I walk past them. The shadows are fading as I come closer. Can you tell what is going to happen from the look in my eyes or is it darkness all you can see?  I guess that's what you get. Karma is a bitch sometimes. You act dark and darkness comes right back at you. You can ask for help, you can scream as much as you want darling but no one is going to hear you, especially with my hand on your neck. Oh, the joy of getting strangled by the words you left unspoken. These same words that have been strangling me all those years. I would ask you how does it feel. I would ask you if it's nice dying slowly and painfully but you can't talk right know, so I'll be understanding and wont ask anything. You could take all my pain away, you could stop me from becoming this mindless, bloodthirsty monster I've become but you just had to be the one who killed me in the first place. I would spare you but looking at your lifeless eyes is so exciting. This rush in my body telling me to keep going, convincing me to eat you alive. It's not my fault darling so don't hate me. Humans are carnivores and as a carnivore all I want to do is devour. We will see each other again. I, eventually will go back to where I belong, back to my throne and you can be my corpse bride. You can be my dead queen. Do you see now? It was a favor. You can have all the souls you want. All the despair you can get, everything you can eat. You are a carnivore too right? You devoured me from the inside out so don't be scared, I will be by your side very soon, I just have some business to attend elsewhere first.

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