Thursday 10 November 2016

Smoke Filled Room Part III

I wake up and realise that it was just a dream. Of course, it was just a dream. I am still in here in this smoke filled room. My legs were shaking as I tried to stand up. The girl was still there. Still trying to make the fireplace to work. ''Having troubles to start a fire?'' I asked while laughing. She stared at me with a grumpy expression on her face. "Some more wood might do the trick.'' I kept mocking her and her struggle to start the fire. She knew that the mockery was just a plan to distract myself. Stop thinking about these four walls scaring me to death. I had to do something about the frightened part of me. ''I'm in complete control.'' I told my self. Every single thing in here is a creation of my demented mind. Nothing is real.

''Everything is real.'' She shouted. ''So, you can actually talk.'' I replied, trying to cover my surprise. She actually read my thoughts. Once again she did not respond.

''Thanks for making me feel good.'' I muttered sarcastically. I couldn't care less about her opinion. Yet, this chilling sensation passing through my spine was not a good sign. The fire was weak but she kept on trying.
I was trying to think of a plan to make the whole thing stop. Shut it down for good. The sensation came back again but this time it was not that smooth. It felt like bugs trying to crawl under my skin. ''Don't panic, keep your cool.'' I thought to my self. The sensation became stronger, more violent. They say that if you don't let your past die, your past will never let you live. Is this my past trying to kill me? Am I losing my self in here? I already lost the blue light. If I lose my own mind everything that light did long ago will be in vain. The loud cracking sound of the wood burning in the fireplace stopped the pain. I kept watching her while she was trying to make the fire stronger. Little she knew that the fire in this room cannot be started by wood. It need another kind of fuel. The kind of fuel that is long gone. It needs light, specifically the blue light.

I sat on the floor like she did when she came in the room. Kept staring at her weak hands, almost as weak as the fire. ''You can't start the fire love.'' I said. Once again, she didn't even flinch. The shadows in the room were drawing closer and closer to the fireplace. What time is it? I don't even know for how much time I've been in this room. Days maybe? I realised that I've lost track of time since I entered the room. I reached in my pockets and found a cigarette and a lighter. ''Maybe the lighter would start your lovely fire.'' I said, while lighting my cigarette. I puffed on my cigarette thoughtfully. I can't find a way to end this. Maybe this is the end for me. The smoke filled the room, creating figures and circles. ''I know about the fire.'' She said. My question was, how the hell can she read my thoughts but I guess she will answer that question when she seems fit. What a pain in the ass. It was my turn to let her hanging this time.

 I should accept my fate and stop over thinking. The endgame was here and I'm ready to face what I've been running from all this time: the darkness inside me. I kept puffing my cigarette, enjoying the nicotine for one last time. ''The fire is long gone darling and my heart is in the ashes.'' I said. ''I know, that is what I'm trying to fix you insolent kid.'' She replied. ''I don't like you at all but whatever you do, you are not going to succeed.'' She smiled and turned her head in my direction. She came closer and whispered to my ear: ''Oh, but I will.'' I felt pain but I couldn't understand what caused it. When she went back to the fireplace I saw it. The girl was not here to light the fire. She was here to extinguish the fire along with the room. The wound in my chest was deep. I smiled, she smiled back and in her smile I saw something more beautiful than the moon, more captivating than the sea and more exciting than death. She stood up and went to the door. She opened the door and left a small opening as she went outside. I am cold and unable to move. I was losing blood because of the huge wound in the centre of my chest. Few more minutes and I will die from blood loss. Not the death I had in mind but it will do. I closed my eyes slowly when the room started to lose pieces of it. There was a blue light coming through the door opening, demolishing the room. I smiled, my body went numb and suddenly-
Light

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