Maybe she couldn't hear me because of the rain. Maybe she couldn't because she didn't want to. I'm not going to ask the reason behind her silence. I don't care anymore. Why would I care if she doesn't? Every choice has consequences. Every single thing we choose can turn on us. Just a matter of time until it does. Everything is a matter of time. People, relationships, friends, girlfriends, boyfriends. None can withstand the passing of time. Not because time is powerful but because its their choice to leave. I chose to love you in silence, for in silence you would never find me. You would never be able to leave me behind. Yet you find me and you left me. It is like everything was predestined to happen. You knew it too. You knew you wouldn't hold and last. Yet, you made me do all these thing I've promised my self I would never do.You never wanted to change me but deep inside you, you knew I would change. I would change for you. Love is a powerful and manipulative weapon. In the wrong hands can cause destruction. I trusted you with that weapon and the safety off, because I knew you would never abuse it. However, you did. I forgave you the first time you did it.
I didn't care how much pain you would cause me. Didn't care how many nights I would stay awake thinking about you. I know I never deserved your or anyone else's love but you should have never made me think that I deserved it. This is the one and only thing I will never forgive. The only thing I blame you for.
I will always have you in my dreams. I will always adore you in my dreams, for in my dreams you have no end. We have no end. I loved every bad thing about you. Every time you were angry with me, anxious, every time you was distant I was there for you. I found light in your dark but little did I know that your light had darkness in it. That your bright eyes could radiate hellish fire and your dress could be so unforgiving.
You made me believe I was whole then shattered me to pieces so I could see how powerless I am against your choices. Everything we went though, shattered. Plans we made, shattered. The love we gave, shattered.
You turned your back and left me behind to pick up the pieces of a unfulfilled love.
Do not worry. I will accomplish my last mission with success. I will bury the pieces you cannot face. Bear the pain you could not bear. I wish you could understand the things I told you when we were restless at nights and kept on talking with each other. You will at some point in your life. When you will love someone as much as I loved you. You will understand every single word I told you when that someone will not love you back and it will be you, who will be left to pick up the pieces of your unfulfilled love. It will be you, losing your mind over someone who doesn't give a damn about you anymore. Losing your mind and asking questions like I do now. Why would you say that you love yet, you leave me behind? Questions that he will answer with: ''It is better for both of us'' and you will have to be satisfied with that answer, for that answer is a non debatable one. You will have no power over your own choice and what you really want to do. Then, you will understand what I was talking about. I'm sorry that I loved you and made you commit. I'm sorry that I was not the one you dreamed of. I'm sorry that I've hurt you with my words all this time. I'm sorry that you will have to read these harsh words of mine.
A part of me wants me to wish you to have a happy life. With someone you deserve and truly loves you. That part is gone though. So, I wish you someone like you. Someone to drive you crazy, someone who will say that he loves you and then leave you behind. I wish to fall in love madly with that someone and feel your heart breaking when he does that. But for now, I wish you sleep well and happy that you chose the best for you. I will not forget you and I will not forgive you for the things you made me do and say.
Lastly, fuck you, for making me care about you.
Fuck you for making me love you.
Fuck you for leaving me behind.
Fuck you for saying its the best for both of us when clearly you are the only one who benefits from your choice.
Fuck you for making a choice for two individuals.
Fuck you for being so beautiful and
fuck your eyes.
Kind Regards,
Someone who would take a bullet for you and smile.
I didn't care how much pain you would cause me. Didn't care how many nights I would stay awake thinking about you. I know I never deserved your or anyone else's love but you should have never made me think that I deserved it. This is the one and only thing I will never forgive. The only thing I blame you for.
I will always have you in my dreams. I will always adore you in my dreams, for in my dreams you have no end. We have no end. I loved every bad thing about you. Every time you were angry with me, anxious, every time you was distant I was there for you. I found light in your dark but little did I know that your light had darkness in it. That your bright eyes could radiate hellish fire and your dress could be so unforgiving.
You made me believe I was whole then shattered me to pieces so I could see how powerless I am against your choices. Everything we went though, shattered. Plans we made, shattered. The love we gave, shattered.
You turned your back and left me behind to pick up the pieces of a unfulfilled love.
Do not worry. I will accomplish my last mission with success. I will bury the pieces you cannot face. Bear the pain you could not bear. I wish you could understand the things I told you when we were restless at nights and kept on talking with each other. You will at some point in your life. When you will love someone as much as I loved you. You will understand every single word I told you when that someone will not love you back and it will be you, who will be left to pick up the pieces of your unfulfilled love. It will be you, losing your mind over someone who doesn't give a damn about you anymore. Losing your mind and asking questions like I do now. Why would you say that you love yet, you leave me behind? Questions that he will answer with: ''It is better for both of us'' and you will have to be satisfied with that answer, for that answer is a non debatable one. You will have no power over your own choice and what you really want to do. Then, you will understand what I was talking about. I'm sorry that I loved you and made you commit. I'm sorry that I was not the one you dreamed of. I'm sorry that I've hurt you with my words all this time. I'm sorry that you will have to read these harsh words of mine.
A part of me wants me to wish you to have a happy life. With someone you deserve and truly loves you. That part is gone though. So, I wish you someone like you. Someone to drive you crazy, someone who will say that he loves you and then leave you behind. I wish to fall in love madly with that someone and feel your heart breaking when he does that. But for now, I wish you sleep well and happy that you chose the best for you. I will not forget you and I will not forgive you for the things you made me do and say.
Lastly, fuck you, for making me care about you.
Fuck you for making me love you.
Fuck you for leaving me behind.
Fuck you for saying its the best for both of us when clearly you are the only one who benefits from your choice.
Fuck you for making a choice for two individuals.
Fuck you for being so beautiful and
fuck your eyes.
Kind Regards,
Someone who would take a bullet for you and smile.
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