Memories..

Memories.. Just scattered memories.. That's all you left me with.. Memories, of a love so strong it threatened to tear me apart.. But.. Oh those memories.. They're so real.. Like day dreams.. I go back to that place in my mind time and time again.. It's like a whole different world.. And like a killer I go back to the crime scene to relive it.. To get that high again.. That high those moments gave me..
I remember every detail you know.. Every single detail.. They're starting to get a bit vague.. It's been so long.. But I remember.. It's as if I can still feel your breath on my neck.. And then your lips.. Placing gentle kisses starting at my collarbone.. Going up to my neck.. And finally sealing my lips with a kiss.. I can still your tender touch on my body.. I can feel you holding me close.. Breathing in my scent.. I can hear those whispered words right from the beginning..
We were on the bed together.. You were holding me tight.. You whispered in my ear.. 'I know that it's not right.. But I'm in love with you..' and you kissed me again.. You held me,until I fell asleep in your arms.. I loved sleeping in your arms.. I felt safe.. It felt like home..
And I know.. It wasn't right.. It was so wrong.. We made mistake after mistake.. Never thinking of the consequences.. Always acting in instinct.. We were so different.. We are so different, we end up being exactly the same.. We fought a lot.. Always arguing 'cause we didn't see eye to eye.. But there was passion behind it all.. Behind every argument.. Every bitter word.. I knew, that no matter how bad it got, no matter how long we went without speaking, in a moment we go back to how we were.. How can a heart get broken so many times and still pull through..? Like a very resilient glass, that no matter how many times you throw it down, doesn't brake.. It barely cracks..
How can memories be the only thing left from this..?? Now you're gone.. But I don't feel like I've lost you.. Am I trying so hard to hold on or are we yet not broken..? At least I know no matter what happens, I still have that place in my mind.. Where I can go and just remember.. Those memories which will last.. Those memories which help me pull through, while at the same time bring back the mind numbing pain.. But I wouldn't change a thing.. Even when it causes so much pain I'd do it again.. Cause you made feel.. I felt that love with all my senses.. It felt so good to be reckless for once you know.. To do something that was wrong yet felt so right.. You know how it feels though don't you..? Remember what you said to me that night..?? 'I feel something so right by doing the wrong thing' .. Funny that's exactly how I felt..
I wont forget your words or actions.. Good and bad.. And I'll remember these feelings.. That as you once again accurately said are completely irrational yet feel so right..
I still love you.. We're not broken.. I never told you.. But I do.. And I'm waiting for the time , when I get to see you again.. And finally.. Hold you in my arms.. Kiss you.. And whisper "I love you".. Sleep in your arms again.. Feel like I'm at home again.. Feel safe..
Take care my love.. Until we meet again..