Tuesday 11 April 2017

Introduction to (Love) Me Part VIII

All jokes aside, today is a really weird day. I was thinking about telling something to a very certain someone. There is this girl I really like. We have been talking for quite a while now. I have never seen her. Like never. I know it sounds weird but I had this feeling that I've known her for my whole life. I feel extremely childish just by writing all these. This has never happened to me before. A crazy, unprecedented experience. I tried to bottle everything up for at least 3 months with great success but I don't think I can do that anymore. She is funny, beautiful, smart and the list could go on and on and on. The fact that I feel things at a time of my life that is so stressful and basically chaotic makes me wonder. Should I tell her how I feel or not? Another thing I should mention is that she is living in Greece and I am in the UK at the moment. This makes it harder for me to decide if I should give it a shot or not.  I'm not the coolest guy around to be honest. I'm kinda boring. I like nights watching netflix with popcorn or pizza and playing games such as monopoly and dungeons and dragons.

So I'm kinda nerdy. I know lots of useless fun facts which is my best party trick. I can also do some magic stuff but that's kinda risky because I'm rusty. Back to my point though. She is fucking amazing and I haven't even see her. My stupid little brain imagined my life with her already and the only thing I've been thinking the last 4-5 months is just her. Her and her beautiful blue eyes. She is full of sarcasm and funny things to say. An archaeologist and a pretty cool one. Her life is a mess but she is handling everything like a boss. Maybe I am attracted to pretty messes like her. I don't really know. All I know is that I tried to control whatever I'm feeling and it didn't work. Trust me, I tried really hard. Ι tried hiding it as good as I could. Every single day I couldn't stop thinking about her. This is probably the most crazy thing I have done in my whole life. Asking a girl if she wants to know me better even though she has never met me. It is also gonna go sideways really fast. Like, extremely fast. Ηοwever, I am commited to tell her even though she might reject me. I like her so fucking much and I don't really know why. Yet, I don't care. All I know is that I like her and I want to meet her in person and show her that I am someone that can count on when she is sad or stressed or happy and blissful. I want to show her that I am someone she can share things with and that I will be there to support her along the way. Even if her decisions are crazy or extremely difficult.

The good thing about having a really fast metabolic rate is that you don't get drunk easily. Today I've been drinking from 7 in the morning until now yet I'm not drunk. I'm kinda drunk but not really. So I decided. Why not tell her. My heart was beating fast as I opened the facebook chat and waited until she goes online. I tried to hide it again while talking to her. I was having second thoughts but not because I wasn't sure about my feelings but because I was scared. Yes, I am scared of rejection. Who isn't scared of rejection anyway? If there is someone out there who is not scared of this please, teach me master. Anyway, after drinking half a bottle of whiskey or maybe more I told her. At first I wanted to actually write a small letter so I know what exactly to say to her. You know, plan my whole confession. Then I just threw everything out of the window and just told her that I like her. I've liked her all this time and if she wanted to know me better. Then the small dots appeared. The 30 seconds reply felt like a fucking year. Microwave minutes all over again. Then she said. Of course I would like you to know better and you did good to confess. I was like. Am I really drunk? What the fuck is going on? Is this beautiful blonde, blue eyed girl seriously thinking of me as a possibility? Seems like she actually does. Ι guess so... I hope she does. The whole point of this story is not about me obviously. This is not sarcasm. I repeat, this is not sarcasm. Somebody said: ''You miss 100 percent of the shots you don't make". I am guessing the one who said this was a basketball player. Lots pof useless information in my brain, can't keep up with everything. So the moral of the story is this:
We might be scared even terrified sometimes but if we feel strongly about something, we should take the shot because if we don't we might regret it in the end. Even when there is a 1% chance remember. It is still a chance.

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