It was a great day yesterday. I decided to work from 8 in the morning until 2 at night. A decision which I regreted instantly yet, I had to do it. First stop, some bar inside a restaurant, inside a hotel. A proper Babushka doll kind of a building.Shift was going to be quite easy. It was breakfast so it should be quiet. Some serving here and there and stuff like that. However, it was super busy. I had to serve an entire section by my own which would not be a really big deal if I wasn't new at this. I ended up not serving anyone in my section and instead of that I was carrying the plates to the washroom. Bad thing with people is that sometimes they thing the waiters can do shit like carry 40 plates, 20 cups and 40 pieces of cutlery in a huge tray. Sure thing I said. Not the strongest man in the world, definitely far away from strongest but I could do that. The tray had another plan for me. It broke as I was carrying it and cut my finger. Cool I said, only one plate is broken. Plates break all the time. Right? Nah..I got scolded for breaking a plate and not even a band aid for my finger. Five hours later I had to transfer to Bolton's footbal stadium. Not to see the game of course but to serve people. I walk in the kiosk after meeting my team and they asked if I knew how to serve beer or operate a till. The answer for both questions was obviously, no. My training got canceled so I had no idea. After a fast briefing of how everything works and me stressing the fuck out because this was my first time and a football stadium is an extremely busy place especially in the UK. I went to the till and just stood there for people to come. Despite my expectations this shift was quite nice, mostly because of the people in my team and my memorizing everything in 1 minute for some reason.
Afternoon time. This means really busy time. Transfered from the football stadium to the most hideous restaurant I've ever been. It wasn't dirty. They just had dog races. Like, what the fuck? What's next? Chicken fights under candle light along with the finest wine out there? Couldn't leave though because it was 2 and a half hours away from my house and I had no money for a taxi. I met a girl there. Pretty nice girl. Full of smiles and rainbows. Each time our eyes met she would give me a big smile, I would do the same and run back to work She was handling drinks and I was handling food. That meant more running for me and I've already been working for 9 hours. Funny thing about this reastaurant was that it was quite straight forward. You take the tray put it on a stand and serve easy. Another funny thing is that they decided to do the same thing as the first. Form a huge stack of plates and just give it to us. How do they did that you might ask. They put a plastic container on the plate and then they put another plate on it. Repeat, profit? 8 plates on every fucking tray and the trays were bending like crazy. No fucking shit Sherlock.
This is an April fools joke right guys? I said while looking at them awkwardly. No they said, this is hell. Welcome aboard. Good thing they have some humor, I thought. Rich people throwing away money to dogs that chase a fake rabbit. What a great day to be alive. Every time I'm serving the greatest hour of my day is when they put out desserts. That means that the restaurant is almost closing and I'm just standing there admiring the cheesecakes and profiterols that every single venue has for some reason. I like those desserts but jesus don't you have anything else to make except cheesecakes? After 7 hours or so everyone was gone and I was just picking up the garbage everyone left on their table. The garbage were mostly composed by betting papers. 2 pounds betting papers. Hundreds of them in each table. These people threw away my student loan in dog racing. Welcome to the brand new lowest point of my life. The shift ended earlier than expected and we were all so happy. Looking forward to go to our houses and get a good night sleep. We stood outside the restaurant as we waited for our pre-booked taxi to take us home. We waited and we waited but nobody came. Would you look at that. The office tottaly forgot our fucking existence and the journey continues. So....Where do you live, I asked. 20 minutes away, she replied. Great, I said while struggling not to shout. New plan, I walk you home and then I'll go back to mine as it is at the opposite direction of yours. Are you sure, she asked. I don't want to make you walk more. A gentleman never leaves a lady alone at night though. We started walking to her home which was obviously more than half an hour away and definitely not 20 minutes but it was fucking great. A politics undergraduate, working a part time job which is obviously more full time than you can imagine. Balancing studies and work is quite a feat and an admirable one indeed. We talked about our favorite books, films and how all our relationships were a complete disaster. Can I marry your pretty eyes now or what? I'm just joking, just joking of course. It's not like I imagined my life with her or did I?
So we arrived at her home where I said goonight and started my own adventure to mine. Bad thing was that it was 2 hours away and with no buses and money my only choice was to walk. Drunk people all over the place and no bus in sight. Maybe there is a night bus somewhere I thought. I asked someone and he showed me the bus stop which was the highlight of my night or that was what I thought. I got on the bus and just observed how beautiful the city is when it's night when somebody shouted and I quote: ''Oh my God, somebody beat up 3 girls and they are on the floor right now bleeding''. The 2nd floor of the bus obviously. Everyone was just ignoring everything and I was like '' yay, human beigns are the fucking best''. The bus is empty and the next stop is where I was supposed to stop. 3 kids come from upstairs to get down and I ask them if there is anyone upstairs. A small red-haired cocky as fuck girl comes on me and she tells me that it is none of my bussiness in a really ''I am fucking underestimating your existence right now''. Oh really? I replied and stood up with my face probably looking like the king of fucking hell as I was really fed up with the day, pretty tired and I was not gonna have it from a fucking 10 year old. So I guess she got scared by my stare and told me that there are people upstairs. Thank you, I said with a psycopathic smile and went upstairs. Side note: I hope she sees nightmares with my stare in them. So, girls bleeding all over the place so I had to help. Why you ask? I don't know. Took them to the closer hospital and that was it. No serious injuries or anything like that. I started my walk to get back eventually and as I was enjoying the city, a guy just looks at a homeless guys cup and just knocks it over with his foot really hard. For no fucking reason, just because he could. Coins all over the place and the poor guy trying to get hold of them. It was like 3 pounds so he could buy a cup of coffee or some food and the fucking guy just decided to ruin that. My legal mind was like: ''Do you understand that you are actually contributing in the death of a person right now''? Yet, I don't need my legal mind to understand what guys like him need to learn how to respect other people. ''Your mother never told you to respect others''? I said in a mild manner and the conversation goes like this.
-What the fuck you want mate? He replied in a not so mild manner.
-To pick that shit up and also tip him at least a pound for what you have done.
- I'm gonna do whatever I want kid. Do you understand?
-Oh I do sir, I do. So I have another proposition for you. You are gonna do as I say or we are gonna do this the hard way. I said feeling all badass and cool.
-And what is the hard way kid? What could you possibly do?
The second part of the above sentece was to show how thin and weak I am. A fact that I had to carry all my life with social interaction and mostly girls. Funny thing though is that you don't need to be all muscles to have knowledge of 5 different martial arts. Another funny thing is that everyone has a comfort zone. Example A: If you are an NBA fan you can see the referee when someone is complaining about a decision backing up while turning his back to the player and then suddenly going into his face. The player seems shocked, confused and not knowing what to do. This is a psychology trick to deal with angry people. So what I did was...
I just slapped the fuck out of him. I slapped him so hard that the wound on my finger opened up. So he tipped the homeless guy 5 pounds and everyone was happy. I got to slap someone, the homeless guy got 5 pounds and he did a good deed. In adittion the homeless guy's smile was all I needed for my night to be good. Win-Win-Win scenario. After 3 hours I was finally home. By now you might thing that this is a really good April fools story but it isn't. Not only because it is writen on the 2nd of April but because all of this for some reason are real incidents. Hard to believe for me too.
Moral of the story: Don't be a dick and be good to people around you. Maybe the universe will be good to you too.
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